A Bird's Eye View to Wilderness Wildlife Week 2015

Back in January, I decided to take advantage of an unspoken-for weekend and take a short drive down to Sevierville, Tennessee to visit my father-in-law, Norm Kallemeyn. The timing wasn't completely arbitrary. For years Norm and my mother-in-law, Bobbie, had been talking about Wilderness Wildlife Week, which they had attended and volunteered for many years. Bobbie passed away this past June and I was due to visit Norm. I thought January a good time for me to try to break up the gloom of winter with my ever-sunny disposition and cheery attitude (read - sarcasm). If my visit coincided with the 25th annual Wilderness Wildlife Week, all the better.

A "Birds' Eye View" by Clay Thurston (hanging in my man cave)

"Focus" - driving down I-89 at night with freezing rain; the temperature around 32; no snow tires; being passed by semis. It was a long trip to Tennessee from Northern Virginia and I didn't get in until fairly late. It was good to be there and Norm and I got an early start Saturday morning.

Events started on Saturday, January 24th and ran through Saturday, January 31. There were seminars all week, entertainment, hikes in the Smokies, and vendors to visit.

I had identified a couple presentations I wanted to see pertaining to outdoor photography, outdoor writing, wildlife, and the geology of the Smokies. First, Norm had to introduce me to a couple people, about 1,351 or so acquaintances. Not being well-liked myself, it is hard to imagine that many people seemingly genuinely happy to see you. I had to ice my hand that night after so many introductions. I don't know how the politicians do it.

OK, next the bird eye quiz. Yes, I did by this photograph. My wife and daughters didn't quite believe it at first. It is now hanging on the wall. Make your guesses. Write them down - starting top row, left to right. Whoever wins gets my Parakeets or a prize of similar value (which would mean you pay me money). I think I only got 3 or 4 correct.  Here goes, sung to the tune of "Ten Little Indians" (or Ten Native Americans to be PC): Row 1: Brown Thrasher, Great Blue Heron, Mockingbird, Sandhill Crane, Burrowing Owl; Row 2: Carolina Wren, Cattle Egret (breeding colors), American Goldfinch, Tricolor Heron (breeding colors), Robin; Row 3: White Ibis, Mourning Dove, Indigo Bunting, Blue Jay, Double-crested Cormorant (breeding colors); Row 4: Anhinga (female breeding colors), Cedar Waxwing, Saw-whet Owl, White-throated Sparrow, Great Egret (breeding colors); and Row 5: Wood Duck (male), Red-bellied Woodpecker (female), Black Vulture, Cardinal (male), Atlantic Puffin. Let me know where to ship the Parakeets. Their names are Sid and Geno.

Raptor-man's Friend, unhappy

All the presentations I attended were good to excellent. I particularly enjoyed the presentation on "The Dos, Don'ts and Hows of Photographing Birds" by Clay Thurston (865-281-0645). Clay had a ton of great photos and was humble enough to include many "out-takes" where his bird subjects didn't exactly cooperate. Clay imparted several useful bits of information in his presentation. These included how to position the bird in the picture, using the rule of thirds, to highlight the bird's movement and other features of the photo and that you usually have to take a lot of photos to get that one really great shot.

I also attended a very interesting presentation by Norm's friend, and financial advisor, J. Greg Johnson on hiking in Israel and Ireland. OK, they aren't the Smokies, but Greg is a proud Appalachian so that was the hook. As a side note, Greg is also the author of Sanctuary, a book on meditations from the Great Smoky Mountains.. I read it and it is very well written - especially for a financial advisor.

It was a about the best free event I may have ever attended, not counting my wedding or the birth of my daughters (but those weren't really "free"). And I had a very nice visit with my favorite father-in-law. You can't beat that.

In the back of the Wildlife Week program was an "in memoriam" section for friends and volunteers who had passed in the last year. This section had a nice write-up on my mother-in-law Bobbie and her service as a local volunteer and involvement in the community. I know it meant a lot to Norm.

The big drama among the volunteers this year was the announcement that they were moving the event from January to May in 2016. Time will tell what the impact will be - to speaker and vendor participation and general attendance. One thing for certain, it will be a lot warmer for the hikers.

Naked and Afraid of Fat Guys in the Woods with River Monsters

My name is Kristopher Boushie and I have a late-night television problem. It is an accepted fact that most people need a solid eight hours of sleep every night to stumble through life barely conscious of their surroundings. I, however, due to my unique genetic make-up and dietary intake, can stumble through my day on less than six hours of sleep. My reduced slumber provides me with additional time in my day to worry about an unending number of actual, potential, and imaginary misfortunes. I can also use this extra time more productively by watching marathon sessions of several "outdoor" shows - Naked and Afraid, Fat Guys in the Woods, and, the purest of the outdoor genre, River Monsters.

Naked and Afraid. Each show features two strangers, a man and a woman, who choose one survival tool (knife, flint and steel, duct tape). They are then dropped in some God-forsaken corner of the world where they have to survive for 21 days, then make it to an extraction point to be picked up. Lots of bugs, snakes, rain, leeches, ticks, and dirt. There is no romance in this show - naked or not. I particularly liked the guy who showed up in the jungle with duct tape. The first thing his partner had him make her was a bikini. The couple is supposed to have some survival training, but it may only consist of shopping at Whole Foods for a week. Here is the thing, these people are not fat. They actually need to eat and there is never enough food. Some get darn skinny. I'm thinking of trying to get on the show to shed a couple pounds myself. The show is on the Discover Channel.

Fat Guys in the Woods. "Survival is simple, just don't die." It is a great tag line. Unlike the "Naked" people, these guys can skip a few meals. In most episodes the grub is scarce (and may actually be a grub). The three fat guys are taught survival skills by "Creek," the thin, blond-haired, pony-tailed guide. The goal is to survive five days in the mountains - four days with Creek and one night alone. The last night the guys have to build their own shelter and start their own fires. While they may not be naked, a good thing, most are pretty afraid. They clearly are not used to being away from TV, fast food, or a warm bed...and for that reason it is pretty entertaining. This show is on the Weather Channel.

Where the real river monsters are!

River Monsters. OK, the photo to the left isn't from the show. It's my dad, grandpa, and friend fishing in the Adirondacks. To hear those old fishing stories, there were river monsters back then!

This is the most addictive of the shows. I'm good for only a couple episodes of "Naked" or "Fat Guys," but I can watch Jeremy Wade all night. I'll watch an episode or two or three, then look up and it's after midnight. Then I dream of how I can possibly get his job. I haven't figured out a solution to this yet, but I am working on it.

Jeremy Wade with friends

This guy fishes all over the world, but spends most of his time in South America and the Amazon. He seems to speak fluent Spanish, so I will need to bring Karen with me as my fishing translator, but not my sound man. Jeremy Wade's sound man got hit in the head by lightening, so it seems dangerous. The guy was OK - good thing since they couldn't get him out right away. Except for the constant rain, bugs, sweltering heat, and fish that could kill you, it looks like a lot of fun. River Monsters is on the Animal Planet.

I've found another pastime when I'm not getting my eight hours of sleep...writing blog posts. I look up and it's already almost 11 PM. It is almost time to turn to the work work I brought home from the office - more writing, but not as much fun because you have to cite everything...rather than just make it up as you go.

If you want to sleep well don't combine dreams of  naked fat guys and river monsters or you will certainly be afraid. Sweet dreams.